English Lessons

While trekking through Spain we spent one night in the small town of Najara. Wandering around the city we came across the local library and decided to take a look. It was your basic small-but-nice library, relatively forgettable except for the series of BBC English language books we found. Our Spanish was (is) terrible and we figured we could reverse engineer them to learn a little Spanish on the road.

(also, please note the title of this particular book; in the bottom left corner, next to the 9)

We were browsing through the grammar sections,  when we found the “conversational examples” – a bizarre collection of scenarios, many of which sound like they’ve already been translated back and forth between a few languages before they appeared on the page.

We’ve transcribed a few of them below, along with a photo to prove that we’re not making it up.

Lesson 1:
At the Cocktail Bar

(drinking game version: everytime they say “gin and tonic,” take a shot)

Angela: Excuse me
Waiter: Yes, madam, may I take your order?
Angela: Gin and tonic, please
Waiter: Certainly, madam.
Mary: Hello, Angela, How are you?
Angela: Fine, thanks.
Waiter: Here you are, madam.
Angela: Thank you. A drink for you Mary?
Mary: Yes, please. May I have a gin and tonic too?
Angela: Yes, of course (to Waiter) Would you get me another gin and tonic,  please?
Waiter: Another gin and tonic. Certainly
Angela: A drink, Bob? We’re having gin and tonic.
Bob: May I have a gin and tonic too?
Waiter: Another gin and tonic.
Angela: Would you get me another gin and tonic?
Waiter: Certainly, madam.
Angela: What’s the time?
Bob: Seven o’clock.
Angela: Please excuse me. I’m meeting John at 7:15. I’m late

Lesson 2:
The Secretary flirts with her disgruntled Boss

(bonus points for using the proper impatient and condescending tone when the Boss speaks)

Boss: Hello. Do you like work? I don’t. I don’t like work. I like food and I like wine. And I like parties. But I don’t like work.
Secretary: Hello. It’s six o’clock.
Boss: No, Jane. It’s five to six. It’s not six o’clock. At six o’clock I can go home.
Secretary: Do you like parties?
Boss: Yes. I like parties, Jane.
Secretary: Shall we go to a party? Look!
Boss: A fancy dress party?

Lesson 3:
The one that is confusing even for English Speakers

(I feel like I need to preface this one with an explanation since it took me a few read-throughs to understand what was going on. Two men are in an hotel room and a secretary calls. If you can figure out what is being said to the secretary and what is being said between the two men, then congratulations.)

Jim Brown: Excuse me (answers phone) Room 432. Jim Brown speaking. Yes, Mr. Matthews is here. It’s a call for you, Francis.
Francis Matthews: Hello, Francis Matthews speaking. Oh, hello Jane…
JB: Don’t do that. Be careful.
FM: My secretary, Jane.
JB: Ah, Jane. How is she?
FM: She’s very well. Very well, thank you.
JB: She’s a nice girl, Jane. A very nice girl.
FM: Er… yes. Well. What can I do for you?
JB: What’s her address?
FM: Er… Jane?
JB: Yes. What’s her address and her telephone number? And what’s she doing this evening?
FM: Goodbye. (to Jim Brown) She’s going out. She’s going out with me.

Full Flickr photo set (along with a couple other examples) here.